


your ex-lover is dead

by lwtzjm



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, One Shot, Teenage AU, angsty, but still, its an updated version of almost lovers but I wanted to repost it, obsessive!louis, sorry nothing is capitolized, well not technically because louis is a ghost and he's like 200, zouis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-02
Updated: 2013-10-02
Packaged: 2017-12-28 04:59:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/987963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lwtzjm/pseuds/lwtzjm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>you never notice life until it's taken from you. the way your chest steadily rises and falls as you sleep. the way your face glows fuchsia as the winter air bites at your cheeks. but most of all, louis notices zayn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	your ex-lover is dead

you never notice life until it's taken from you. the way your chest steadily rises and falls as you sleep. the way your face glows fuchsia as the winter air bites at your cheeks. but most of all, louis notices zayn.

he notices his droopy eyes and pale skin in the mornings. he notices the hairpin curve of his lip. he notices his cheekbones that could stab a man in the heart if they got the chance. louis notices the way his pink lips part slightly to let out a stream of grey smoke. he notices how zayn rolls around restlessly as he sleeps. he notices how his eyes fill with tears when he's alone in his room. he notices how he plays his music too loud for his mothers liking, but she doesn't dare to tell him that. louis notices how his eyes light up like the starry night sky when he smiles.

and louis loves him, but zayn will never know

zayn will never know the hours upon hours that louis sits to watch him. he'll never know that that chill which runs up his spine is louis' aching heart reaching for his hand. he'll never know the times when he's upset, and louis is always there to hold him. he'll never know how louis waits, waits for the day that they will finally be together.

louis loves zayn, but zayn will never know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

zayn's alarm goes off to signal his awakening. louis, who is perched at zayn's desk, squirms with glee. He doesn't mind watching zayn sleep, but he prefers him awake. it's much more exciting. it takes him approximately two minutes and seventeen seconds to roll out of bed, but who's counting. zayn starts to undress before changing into his uniform for school, which is louis' favorite part of the day. he gets to see parts of zayn that no one else has the privilege of witnessing everyday. some might call it creepy, louis calls it romantic. zayn's eyes meet his for a split second and his heart drops to his shallow, empty stomach. in louis' mind, nothing hurt more than having the only one you truly love look right at you, but not be able to see you. not even death. 

louis knows more about zayn than anyone else. more than his own family. he watched him grow up, after all. how would anyone else know that zayn always puts his right leg into his pants first. excluding one time, april 19th of 2009, zayn put his left leg into his pants first, but that was the only time. also, who else would know that zayn hides his weed in the back of a picture frame that includes a photo of his dad and him in the third grade, but it stays there, only to be removed when his parents are far from home. 

zayn leaves for school and louis waits, just like he's done for what seems like a lifetime. he gets nothing done while zayn's gone, only sits and stares at the spot where zayn should be. at least it's a friday and louis will be able to see zayn for the next few days. 

it's been three years five months and two days since the last time louis had left zayn's room. zayn really hadn't left his room much in that time either, except when he had to go to school or when his mother dragged him out for something he didn't want to do. louis liked it that way. that means he gets to stare into zayn's gorgeous, honey colored eyes for as long as he likes, which consumes most of his days. 

everyday louis hopes that the day they can finally be together comes soon. the amount he can stand of just watching zayn as dawn turns to dusk turns to dawn again is unknown. today though, today is different. 

zayn bursts into his bedroom door when the clock turns to 3:47, he barely makes it in before salty tears start to parade down his beautiful, beautiful face. louis sits up from his place at the desk, carefully examining the way zayn runs his hands through his raven black hair. more tears. zayn glances to the bathroom, to his bedroom door, and back to the bathroom. it's happening. zayn disappears into the bathroom, except when he reappears three minutes and twelve seconds later, his knuckles are white, fingers clasped around a bottle of painkillers

"pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease"  
louis mutters under his breath. although zayn can't hear him, he knows he can feel him, because he popps the bottle open. it's contents spill out into his shaky hand. this is it. he crams 16 pills into his mouth and with a huge gulp he swallows them. more tears. 

"be brave," louis tells him, as he watches the boy who he's waited so so long to meet fade away into nothing, "im coming to hold you now."

it's 6:58pm when zayn dies.

it's 6:58pm when louis finally gets to live again.

**Author's Note:**

> i made it longer because my douchebag friends told me to this one is for you syd and kyoto


End file.
